The kids and I went to see your brothers today. On the drive up it started to hit me that we were going to YOUR brother's house, but YOU would NOT be there. I tried so hard to fight back tears the whole time I was there. Honestly it felt a little awkward at first. It got better, but we were only there for a couple of hours. The kids had fun and it was really good for Nathan to see them. It was good to talk about you and what's going on, but I didn't want to cry in front of all of them (their girlfriends were there, too) and I knew that's what I needed at that moment. I couldn't hold it back much longer. It just seemed wrong for me to be there without you somehow and odd talking about it all, but it helps to talk about you especially to those who were close to you. I think it was just a bit much today.
Your brother still has your old black car. I Love that car. I miss it. I know it sounds crazy, but you know that because I have missed it since you sold it for the red one. I told him someday I'll buy it back, but it's with the rightful owner and like he said (and I was thinking it, too) at least it's him who has it and not some stranger. It sounds silly to talk about a car like that, but there is so much behind it. I still have the red one, which I've hated since the day you bought it, but I can't bring myself to sell it right now. So I guess we... or 'I' have 3 vehicles, but ony one driver.
Anyway, it was good to go there today even though it was hard. I think because it was the first time there and hanging out with them without you, but I'm glad that we were able to and I know the kids were glad, too. Neither one wanted to leave.
Like Always, Tom, I love you and miss you. I wish you were there today-- and everyday.