Jena came to visit this weekend. It's always so nice to have a good friend come for a visit. We went to Savannah and Hilton Head Island on Saturday. Savannah is my favorite place in the world. We ate at Moon River. I love it and take everyone there. It's Tom's and my place for sure, but kind of reminds me of "C" as well. I guess by now I should just be calling Savannah MY place. I love everything about it. Sometimes those memories creep up and get to me when I'm there. I think having Jena with me that night was really good. She understands and she accepts it all and she can get my mind off of it all, too.
Jena came down because she needed a weekend away. We are both facing similar decisions in life right now, so I completely understand where she is coming from. It's great to have those friends who just get it and after every sentence it's that smile, or nod that says "I know, trust me, I know." Friends like Jena are Rare! I'm blessed to have her friendship. We are very different and very much alike at the same time. We can both be a little crazy and like to have fun when we go out, but we can also have a great time just hanging out and relaxing. We wear our hearts on our sleeves, though I've been told since Tom died I'm much more guarded. It's nice to have a friend I don't have to be guarded around.
Saturday was fun. I'm in a different mind set now and it was great to go out, meet new people, have a few drinks, chill by the water, and have those deep meaningful life talks about where we've been and where we are going. We met these really cool people who were there for a frisbee tournament and then started talking to some Army guys just back from deployment. They had their ball that night and one of the guys kind of seemed like an arrogant jerk before we got into conversation and his friend made a comment about Marines (we all know they have a rivalry). I told him not to make a comment like that to me and once he realized why he was apologetic. They were all pretty cool (ya know for being Army and all-- just kidding). It was nice chatting with them and their wives. I miss being a military wife. It's just so nice to be around people who understand me on THAT level even if only for a few minutes.
We left Savannah and met up with a friend and his roommates on the island. It was a great way to end the night. Sunday we had movie night and laughed until we cried. But of course we had to get into a deep conversation with one of our guy friends on the phone until 1am-ish. That put lots of things into perspective and I know I have tons to think about now (as does Jena, lol). Ugh! When will life be simple? Not sure it ever will be, but I'm just going to keep on living and doing what I need to do and hopefully one day life will be simple. I don't want boring or ordinary, just simple!
We went back to Hilton Head today (Avery was in school), just went and had lunch by the water, relaxed, and talked. I don't know what it is about that place, but I can be having the worst day (though today was a great day to start with), and as soon as I get on that island I feel at peace. I love this whole area down here. I know I need to move and get away, but if I can't be in Southern California then here is where I feel the most peace. Sitting by the water is such a soothing thing for me. I want to spend all my time out there and just soak it all up. If I could bottle it and take it with me I can honestly say I'd rarely have a bad day. Neither Jena nor I wanted to leave. She felt the same way there. I think I found one of my places to go and just write. I've been looking for that-- a place where I feel at peace to just sit and write; a place where my soul is full, happy, and at peace. I'm ready for that in life right now.
Showing posts with label jena. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jena. Show all posts
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, June 6, 2010
One More Try
Tommy,
A little sad and a little laugh (for me anyway)... I went to O'Charleys tonight. Jena went with me. I sat in the same place (Jena took your seat) and ordered the same thing we had 4 weeks ago tonight when Jena watched the kids. I was sad, but tried not to cry since I've cried all day long. At one point Jena held up my phone with the picture of you from that night-- the last picture taken of you. I joked around and talked to it for a minute like it was you (not long I'm not Too crazy). I've gone out since then, but not there. I wasn't ready. I felt like tonight was the right time to go, but had I gone alone? Ha! That would have been pretty bad. We weren't there for long and I came home.
I got on youtube and actually looked up Timmy T's "One More Try." I know you know that song. It's amazing that one little song would make us both cry. (Yes I wrote that on here that my big, tough Marine knew how to cry). I can't even begin to imagine how many times one of us would play that song for or about the other. How many "One More Try's" did we get anyway? I suppose that eventually we'd have to run out of ONE more trys and we'd have to have a last ONE. But Tommy, this is too final. This isn't one of our youthful break-ups when we were teens. This isn't even one of our serious marriage issues that we still managed to get through. Tommy, this is death. I thought we'd ALWAYS get 'One More Try,' but there has never been a greater need or desire to have one more try with you. Not that all the words are fitting for this situation, it's just that One More Try would give me enough time to fix everything.
Well, anyway, I was watching the 1991 video of the song with Timmy T and instead of the normal tears this song invokes (oh the memories), I started to laugh a little and I pictured you here laughing and making comments at the hair, the parachute pants, and the dancing. It was so your type of dancing Tom-- really bad! ;) Hey, now that I think of it, I'm mad at you. You and I were supposed to go out dancing one time and it never happened! I guess I'll let it slide (I have no other choice). But really this video was perfect for you to see. I can picture you imitating the dancing and singing the song. At least for me there was something "light" about the day. Most of the day was me bawling my eyes out and I didn't expect a smile from that song, it brings back memories. I know you understand, or you would if you were here. That's the problem you aren't here and no one understands. I was saying that to Jena in the car tonight-- about how hilarious you are and how no one else knows all the jokes we had together. I don't even want to laugh anymore, but I sure don't want any more days like this where all I do is cry and cry. Ok, I'm beat, but at least I don't have to get up for the kids tomorrow. I wish you could sleep in with me. That would be crazy. Ok, now I know I'm rambling and I'll have to read this over in the AM and probably delete it. I love you, Tommy.
Love always,
Katie
A little sad and a little laugh (for me anyway)... I went to O'Charleys tonight. Jena went with me. I sat in the same place (Jena took your seat) and ordered the same thing we had 4 weeks ago tonight when Jena watched the kids. I was sad, but tried not to cry since I've cried all day long. At one point Jena held up my phone with the picture of you from that night-- the last picture taken of you. I joked around and talked to it for a minute like it was you (not long I'm not Too crazy). I've gone out since then, but not there. I wasn't ready. I felt like tonight was the right time to go, but had I gone alone? Ha! That would have been pretty bad. We weren't there for long and I came home.
I got on youtube and actually looked up Timmy T's "One More Try." I know you know that song. It's amazing that one little song would make us both cry. (Yes I wrote that on here that my big, tough Marine knew how to cry). I can't even begin to imagine how many times one of us would play that song for or about the other. How many "One More Try's" did we get anyway? I suppose that eventually we'd have to run out of ONE more trys and we'd have to have a last ONE. But Tommy, this is too final. This isn't one of our youthful break-ups when we were teens. This isn't even one of our serious marriage issues that we still managed to get through. Tommy, this is death. I thought we'd ALWAYS get 'One More Try,' but there has never been a greater need or desire to have one more try with you. Not that all the words are fitting for this situation, it's just that One More Try would give me enough time to fix everything.
Well, anyway, I was watching the 1991 video of the song with Timmy T and instead of the normal tears this song invokes (oh the memories), I started to laugh a little and I pictured you here laughing and making comments at the hair, the parachute pants, and the dancing. It was so your type of dancing Tom-- really bad! ;) Hey, now that I think of it, I'm mad at you. You and I were supposed to go out dancing one time and it never happened! I guess I'll let it slide (I have no other choice). But really this video was perfect for you to see. I can picture you imitating the dancing and singing the song. At least for me there was something "light" about the day. Most of the day was me bawling my eyes out and I didn't expect a smile from that song, it brings back memories. I know you understand, or you would if you were here. That's the problem you aren't here and no one understands. I was saying that to Jena in the car tonight-- about how hilarious you are and how no one else knows all the jokes we had together. I don't even want to laugh anymore, but I sure don't want any more days like this where all I do is cry and cry. Ok, I'm beat, but at least I don't have to get up for the kids tomorrow. I wish you could sleep in with me. That would be crazy. Ok, now I know I'm rambling and I'll have to read this over in the AM and probably delete it. I love you, Tommy.
Love always,
Katie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)