Three Years!?

Hello My Love, I really don't blog anymore, but today I felt the need to. May 10th was a Friday this year, the Friday before Mother's Day. In 2010 it was the day after Mother's Day. You always made that day so special for me even more so than my birthday or Christmas. I hate it now. The only person who hates it more, I'm sure is your Mom, but I'm learning to ignore it as muh as possible and so have most of my friend's. Some of them acknowledge that they know it's hard for me, but felt the need to wish me a Happy Mother's Day anyway. It means a lot, probably more so that they understand how difficult it is for me than anything. It's been three years since you left this world. Three years! Three Years? I can't believe it's been so long. The time has flown by and I can't really complain when it comes to not seeing you. I've come so far from where I was initially after your death. It's still beyond painful, but I have a sense of purpose and I'm headed in the right direction in life. There is so much I want to accomplish and so much I feel I can contribute and give back to help others.  But 3 whole years without you? Wow. I mean you're in a different decade than me now... or um, I'm in a different decade than you. I kind of feel like a cougar, lol. Oh, I can just hear the jokes we would make about our ages now!   You know, what's odd to me is the way I feel the few days after the anniversary of your death - accomplished. I feel like a little weight is lifted if only for a short time. I survived another year without you. Sometimes I wonder how the world keeps on turning without you in it, but that's part of life and I'm so blessed that you were part of mine.  Your funeral was three years ago today. I'm not sure how I managed the month of May then or how I do it now, but I guess it's all part of life and taking healing steps no matter which direction those steps lead.  You'd be proud of me now, and although I can't say that for all of the past 3 years, I am confident that you would be pleased to know the plans I have and the steps I'm taking to make them happen. We all have our reasons and motives for the things we want and the things we pursue to accomplish and you're it for me, Tommy. You Are My Why! Maybe that's why this year seems different - less hopeless and more hopeful. You're still with me and always will be.  I miss you now and forever!  Love always, Katie